Resources for Parents
Food for Thought and Dinner Table Talk
VIDEO LINKS | MOVIE NIGHT | INSPIRING READING | RESOURCES
Knowledge is power, and being informed can only help us educate, mentor and parent our children. BCN’s mentorship programs and curriculum are based primarily on the ‘theory of attachment’, as expressed by the pivotal works of Canadian Developmental Psychologist, Dr. Gordon Neufeld. Dr. Neufeld’s books and workshops can be assessed through his Neufeld Institute website, and are available in several languages.
The world is changing quickly, almost as quickly as published thoughts and ideas about education and parenting. To maintain balance in a shifting landscape, we consider all opinions and statistics and savour the bits and pieces that resonate with our boys. We have listed some popular links, for reference only, noting that the opinions and ideas expressed in editorial and content do not necessarily represent the position of BCN. If you have concerns about your child’s behaviour or well-being, consult your family doctor and/or teacher right away.
ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA
OUR PHONES ARE RUINING RELATIONSHIPS | Simon Sinek | Inside Quest
Author and TED speaker Simon Sinek talks with Tom Bilyeu on Inside Quest about millennials and how addiction to technology is leading to addiction and costing them relationships, jobs and personal satisfaction.
See also Innerlight Media’s production BE MINDFUL – Simon Sinek
WHAT YOU ARE MISSING BY BEING A DIGITAL ZOMBIE | Patrik Wincent | TEDxStockholm
PARENT TO PARENT – In a hyperconnected world, where mobile devices have become appendices to our body and people check their social media accounts hundreds of times a day, human interaction is sacrificed daily in favour of digital exchanges. In his talk from TEDxStockholm event “Generation WHY?”, psychotherapist Patrik Wincent takes us on a journey through his own Internet addiction, and gives us valuable tips to avoid becoming digital zombies. Patrik is a father to a teenager and so he fully understands the challenges that parents are faced with when it comes to having children that are growing up in this digital era.
IS SOCIAL MEDIA HURTING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH? | Bailey Parnell | TEDxRyersonU
WHEN ABSTINENCE IS NOT AN OPTION, PRACTICE SAFE SOCIAL – Scrolling through our social media feeds feels like a harmless part of our daily lives. But is it actually as harmless at seems? According to social media expert Bailey Parnell, our growing and unchecked obsession with social media has unintended long term consequences on our mental health. As social media continues to become part of the fabric of modern life – the “digital layer” – abstinence is becoming less of an option. Bailey think it’s high time we learned to practice safe social before it’s too late. What are the common triggers? How are they affecting you over time? How can you create a more positive experience online? Bailey covers this and more in “Is Social Media Hurting Your Mental Health?” Bailey worked in social marketing in higher education (18-24 year olds) for most of her career.
BREAKING THE BOYS CODE OF MASCULINITY | Bill Pozzobon | TEDxIsfeld
Bill has worked on gender and violence issues with youth and educators for over a decade. In his role as Director of the SafeTeen Boy’s Program, he trains the new SafeTeen Agents for Change and co-leads Educator Trainings locally, nationally and internationally. With humour and skill Bill invites the boys and men he works with to step into their full humanity with dignity and courage. “I am a strong believer in the power of personal choice and heart centered action. My own personal journey and the undeniable impact on the thousands of young men I have worked with, give me an enduring passion for this work.”
UNMASKING MASCULINITY – HELPING BOYS BECOME CONNECTED MEN | Dr. Ryan McKelley | TEDxUWLaCrosse
Study after study has shown that social isolation is a risk factor for development of disease. It highlights the importance of social connection for mental and physical health, yet the stereotype is that men are less capable of emotional connection than women, notes McKelley. McKelley suggests otherwise. Studies show when men’s physiological responses to emotional stimuli are measured, their internal experience is similar to that of women. McKelley wants men to do away with the mask. Sometimes emotional restriction is necessary, but it doesn’t need to be the default mode, he says. He challenges men to eliminate phrases like “man up” or “stop acting like a girl.” They should understand that opening up and being vulnerable is courageous. Taking small risks to open up will give them a broader experience of all of their emotions and allow them to make deeper connections. McKelley is a licensed psychologist and UW-L associate professor of psychology.
THE BOY CRISIS: A SOBERING LOOK AT THE STATE OF OUR BOYS | Warren Farrell Ph.D. | TEDxMarin VIDEO
What is causing a worldwide Boy Crisis and how do we resolve it. A sobering look at the current state of Boys in our society and what we must understand before we can help them. Dr. Warren Farrell is an American educator, activist and author of seven books on men’s and women’s issues., including the international bestsellers, Why Men Are the Way they Are, plus The Myth of Male Power. He is the only man in the U.S. to be elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC. and he is Chair of the Commission to Create a White House Council on Boys and Men. Warren is currently co-authoring with John Gray the forthcoming The Boy Crisis.
BOYS ADRIFT: The Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Underachieving Young Men | Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D. BOOK
Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. Now, Dr. Leonard Sax delves into the scientific literature and draws on more than twenty years of clinical experience to explain why boys and young men are failing in school and disengaged at home. He shows how social, cultural, and biological factors have created an environment that is literally toxic to boys. He also presents practical solutions, sharing strategies which educators have found effective in re-engaging these boys at school, as well as handy tips for parents about everything from homework, to videogames, to medication.
MOVIES TO WATCH TOGETHER
Mentor recommended. Commonsensemedia.org is a great reference for parents/guardians to review film content before viewing.
FINDING FORRESTER | Drama/Sports | PG13 | Sean Connery | Columbia Pictures Play trailer | Link to movie
A unique relationship develops between an eccentric, reclusive novelist and a young, amazingly gifted scholar-athlete. After the novelist discovers that the young athlete is also an excellent writer and secretly takes him on as his protégé, they develop an unlikely friendship. As they learn more about each other, they learn more about themselves, and ultimately, with the help of his new mentor, the basketball star must choose the right path.
THE BLIND SIDE | Drama/Sports | PG13 | Sandra Bulloch, Tim McGraw | Warner Play trailer | Link to movie
A remarkable true story of All-American football star Michael Oher. Teenager Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) is surviving on his own, virtually homeless, when he is spotted on the street by Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock). Learning that the young man is one of her daughter’s classmates, Leigh Anne insists that Michael-wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the dead of winter-come out of the cold. Without a moment’s hesitation, she invites him to stay at the Tuohy home for the night. What starts out as a gesture of kindness becomes much more as Michael becomes part of the Tuohy family despite the differences in their backgrounds. Living in his new environment, the teen faces a completely different set of challenges to overcome. And as the family helps Michael fulfill his potential, both on and off the football field, Michael’s presence in the Tuohys’ lives leads them to some insightful self-discoveries of their own
PAY IT FORWARD | Comedy/Drama/Romance | PG13 | Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt | Warner Play trailer | Link to movie
Academy Award winners Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey star with Haley Joel Osment as a struggling single mother, a social studies teacher whose placid life is in perfect order and the student whose class assignment has profound repercussions when, instead of paying it back, the recipient of a kindness must Pay It Forward. The assignment is simple:Look at the world around you and fix what you don’t like. #1 It has to be something that really helps people #2 Something they can’t do by themselves. #3 Do it for them, and they do it for three other people. But teacher Eugene Simonet (Spacey) never expects one his students to take the assignment to heart, much less the profound, unanticipated effects that Trevor McKinney’s (Osment) actions will have on the world around him.
HUNGER GAMES | Science Fiction/Thriller | PG 13 | Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson | Lions Gate Play trailer
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the evil Capitol of the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. A twisted punishment for a past uprising and an ongoing government intimidation tactic, The Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which “Tributes” must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy. If she’s ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
" The difference between a child having a good day and a child having a bad day often depends on a few extra seconds we are willing to give them"
– author unknown