Why Boys?

Boys are at risk

“If boys do not understand and value themselves and their human potential, and make enduring connections with positive adult male mentors and role models within their primary spheres of influence (family, school), they will seek connection elsewhere. Elsewhere can be dangerous, damaging, devastating.”      – Walter Mustapich, BCN President and co-founder

As educators, parents, and mentors of boys, we must understand their changing landscape, recognize their challenges, and find ways to help them thrive.  We encourage interested parties to refer to expert opinion and data offered by recognized experts such as Richard V. Reeves and Ruth Whippman, author of Boy Mom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity.  Consider the following information gathered form Statistics Canada and many other sources.

Statistically:

• Boys are 300% more likely than girls, to die by suicide.
• Boys are 50% more likely than girls, to drop out of school.
• Boys represent 72% of youth appearing in court.
• Boys are 400% more likely than girls, to be diagnosed as learning disabled.
• Boys are awarded the minority of secondary scholarships (30/40%).
• Boys are infrequently nominated valedictorian in BC Secondary Schools.
• Boys rarely participate in school leadership, student government, service clubs.
• Boys represent 40% of post-secondary enrollment.
• Boys aged 15-24 are 14% unemployed – more than double the national average.
• Boys and men in their 20s: 15% not in employment education or training.
• Boys aged 19-29: 50% are at risk of ‘problem anger’ interfering with daily life.
• Boys aged 19-29: report high rates of social isolation and account for 75% of suicides.
• Boys: 69% use gaming to stay in touch with their friends.
• Boys are 500% more likely to be accused of cyber-related hate crimes, than girls.

Education:

• Boys represent 90% of referrals to the office, for discipline, by educators.
• Boys in BC public schools have few positive male mentors/role models – 90% of new teachers (first five years) are female; aging-out teacher population is only 25% male.
• Boys are influence by the online “Manosphere” which exploits disconnected young males; promoting aggressive and harmful forms of masculinity (ie: movie Adolescence)
• Boys, increasingly, are ‘shrinking’ in class: unsure of what is expected of them and fearful of public ridicule for being at once ‘privileged’ and ‘toxic’, they opt to stay silent and invisible.

Gender Specific and Systemic Generalities:

• Boys as a rule don’t talk.  They hesitate to ask for help or talk about their problems, particularly when they have no positive male mentors in their lives.
• Boys learn differently than girls, their brains are wired differently, and on balance boys benefit from male leadership and mentorship.
• Boys living in single-parent homes generally, have no in-home male mentor.
• Disconnected boys, as a rule, seek advice and direction from friends, social media, celebrity influencers.  They do not search online for traditional help or resources, and may instead be influenced to turn to platforms where Andrew Tate’s “Manosphere” and associated red and black bill teachings, influence and recruitment thrive.
• BIPOC: racialized young men report significantly higher stress levels (80%) and face higher unemployment rates.
• Indigenous boys face distinct barriers linked to racism and intergenerational trauma; leading to increased rates of suicide and substance-related harms.
• As more Canadian women achieve higher education and well-paying jobs, the traditional economic necessity of a male provider has diminished.

These facts create a foundation for potential disconnection – particularly for boys who do not have immediate access to positive male role models/mentors at-home and/or at school.    Providing ongoing access to positive adult male role models over a period of years, and exposing boys to Hope, Opportunity, Positive mentorship and Education, can re-write a boy’s story.  An old-fashioned idea based on ancient wisdom. Wisdom that works.

The statistics cited above agree with anecdotal evidence and experiences shared by BCN teacher-leaders throughout the Network, and by BCN member boys. Certain chapters that skew more particularly to lower income or landing community populations experience specific challenges more acutely than others, but overall, the statistics ring true across the Network.

The government of Canada has recognized that boys are falling behind, and that improving the health of men and boys is of national importance. Further, that the failure of boys and men to thrive would pose a major social and economic threat to the well being and security of the country.  A long-awaited national strategy focused on men and boys’ mental and physical health has been announced, namely Canada’s Men and Boys’ Health Strategy

Knowledge is Power.  Understanding the differences between boys and girls on balance can only help us understand how to communicate effectively.  School counsellors are a good resource (opinions are not our own; links provided only for reference and consideration)

Inside The Manosphere | Louis Theroux | VIDEO
The acclaimed documentarian gains rare, unrestricted access to explore a rising ultra-masculine network and its polarizing influencers.

BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity | Ruth Whippman | BOOK
Combining painfully honest memoir, cultural analysis, and reporting, BoyMom is a humorous and heartbreaking deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment.  “Rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child, interrupter, mansplainer, boob-starer, birthday forgetter, frat boy, dude-bro, homophobe, self-important stoner, emotional-labor abstainer, non-wiper of kitchen counters. Trying to raise good sons suddenly felt like a hopeless task.” As the culture wars rage, and masculinity has been politicized from all sides, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman finds herself conflicted and scared. While the right pushes a dangerous vision of fantasy manhood, her feminist peers often dismiss boys as little more than entitled predators-in-waiting.  Meanwhile her home life feels like a daily confrontation with the triumph of nature over nurture. With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our boys won’t cooperate with our plans?  Whippman digs into the impossibly contradictory pressures boys now face; and the harmful blind spots of male socialization that are leaving boys isolated, emotionally repressed, and adrift. Feminist gonzo-style, she spends months interviewing incels, reports on a conference for boys accused of sexual assault; crashes at a residential therapy center for young men in Utah, talks to a wide range of psychologists and other experts, and gets boys of all backgrounds to open up about sex, consent, porn, body image, mental health, cancel culture, screens, friendship and loneliness. Along the way, she finds her simple certainties about male privilege seriously challenged.  With wit, honesty, and a refusal to settle for easy answers, BoyMom charts a new path to give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.

The Boy Crisis: A Sobering look at the State of our Boys | Warren Farrell Ph.D. | TEDxMarin  VIDEO
What is causing a worldwide Boy Crisis and how do we resolve it. A sobering look at the current state of Boys in our society and what we must understand before we can help them. Dr. Warren Farrell is an American educator, activist and author of seven books on men’s and women’s issues., including the international bestsellers, Why Men Are the Way they Are, plus The Myth of Male Power. He is the only man in the U.S. to be elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC. and he is Chair of the Commission to Create a White House Council on Boys and Men. Warren is currently co-authoring with John Gray the forthcoming The Boy Crisis.

Boys Adrift: The Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Underachieving Young Men | Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D. BOOK
Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. Now, Dr. Leonard Sax delves into the scientific literature and draws on more than twenty years of clinical experience to explain why boys and young men are failing in school and disengaged at home. He shows how social, cultural, and biological factors have created an environment that is literally toxic to boys. He also presents practical solutions, sharing strategies which educators have found effective in re-engaging these boys at school, as well as handy tips for parents about everything from homework, to videogames, to medication.

What about girls?

Many of our most vocal advocates and popular mentors are women.  At a recent Canadian symposium at which BCN presented, attended by educational leaders from all districts and strata, a Simon Fraser University professor took the microphone and shared relevant highlights from her experiences over 30 years studying adolescent girls.  She concluded with an ask and recommendation to BCN that, when an individual or organization asks what the Network is doing for girls, the answer must be ‘the Boys Club Network’.

To learn more about mentorship and leadership programs for girls, Google ‘programs for girls in (enter name of school district or community)’, or speak with school administrators.

What’s in a name?  The boys named the club themselves, a dozen years ago, in keeping with the cultural of after-school clubs operating at the time – Aboriginal Club, Girls Club, Drama Club, Math Club.  We added the word Network to the common name (Boys Club Network), as a descriptor of our core philosophy and tenets when we registered the Westcoast Boys Club Network Foundation as a Canadian foundation in 2013.